Pieces of my broken mind

"She leaned over to check, but Germain was peacefully asleep, also smiling. “That Cherry Bounce must be good stuff.” Roger laughed. “It’s terrible. Like industrial-strength cough syrup. I will say it makes ye very cheerful, though.” “Have you been drinking it?” She eyed him narrowly, but his lips appeared to be their usual color. “Of course not.” He leaned over and kissed her, to prove it. “Surely ye dinna think a Scotsman like Ronnie would deal wi’ disappointment by drinking Cherry Bounce? When there’s decent whisky to hand?”"    -- Diana Gabaldon , A Breath Of Snow And Ashes   We made the Cherry Bounce and yes, Roger was absolutely correct.  Industrial-strength cough syrup is on target for a description.  The book said to use blended whisky, so I trundled off to the liquor store first - apparently, we're a single-malt household.  One bottle of Cutty Sark, just shy of two pounds of half-frozen sweet cherries we had left over from making sangria i...

So yeah, was let go from my job a couple of months ago.  I'm not unhappy. I saw some writing on the wall - figured there'd be some sort of extra training, PIP, whatever. I'd been told when I began they were invested in making sure I would succeed in the job.  Lie #1 of a few.  If I admit the truth, I wasn't really happy at the company.  I only took the job because unemployment was telling me to.  The company itself has great reviews on Indeed.com and Glassdoor.com but coming from the inside I know the reviews exist because they encourage people to write them. REALLY encourage you to write great reviews.  Constantly promoting what they believe is an inclusive culture, but only for a certain few.  The open office layouts are stupid, people were even more over-sensitive than what I'm used to dealing with, and I felt out of place from Day 1.  Plus, I no longer wanted to be on the software side of healthcare.  I enjoyed commuting with Troy and bei...

So, as a few know, I travel for work. I'm a road warrior/consultant who works in another state. I leave on Sunday or Monday and come home by Thursday or Friday. Since I've learned a few things during this time I'll share them now. 1. If you are traveling by plane, you will probably be late getting to your destination. There is time built into the takeoff/landing estimates. Yes, they're estimates - pilots can usually make up some time, but sometimes (as happened to me yesterday) you can be diverted to go around a storm system, and that adds time to your flight. Breathe - the pilot, the flight attendant, and the gate agents aren't to blame. Screaming at them doesn't solve anything. 2. Don't get too excited if your plane lands 30 minutes early. Chances are you will sit on the runway until your gate is clear. Get a battery pack so you can keep your phone or tablet charged while you wait. 3. Netflix now lets you download content! YES! I don't spend near...

I was diagnosed with BiPolar II almost 20 years ago. My previous diagnosis was dysthymia, a persistent depressive disorder or low mood that can be years in the making. The diagnosis was upgraded to BiPolar II after three unsuccessful suicide attempts. My therapist had me start seeing a psychiatrist shortly after my failed attempts. The MD was able to prescribe the medication I so obviously needed, but I had mixed feelings about going the medication route. Once you start down that road, it's pretty impossible to get off the highway. But it was so hard to get through the day when I could cycle between panic, anxiety, anger and the depths of despair in a matter of minutes. I hated myself, and others hated being around me. With that in mind, she and I started trying to find the pharmacologic cocktail to help me get better and began to work on cognitive therapy exercises to help me when the medication did not. The medication helped my symptoms greatly, but it did not stop the breakthro...

DH has been at his job for a month now, and of course, I'm still ridiculously happy! It's nice to see a paycheck deposited in the bank no matter the amount. He'd been doing freelance editing and proofreading - two jobs definitely in his wheelhouse - for a while, but the money was almost non-existent. The past year has been tough with my reduced hours, and no commission for a few months. I have a good job, but we also have a house that takes a fair amount to run, and taxes went up again... No, it's not using his degree, and no, it's not a job he envisioned himself working. It's at a grocery store and we get a discount on all items purchased (even sale and clearance). The BOGO sale has been happening for a couple weeks now, and we're almost out of spaces to put the items I bought to stock the pantry with for winter! Will his parents lecture him because he's not doing what they believe he should be doing or using his degree? Not directly to him. I got t...

I've been crying a lot lately - it's getting tiring. We're into the second holiday without Dad, and this is really starting to sink in. After a conversation with my sister, I think I can put words to some of my emotions. Now it's all coming to an end - I'm allowing myself to feel the pain of losing both my parents and it hurts. But it's not just the loss of my dad, but the money issues that were discovered afterward. It _still_ pisses me off Dad lent my brother money out of the HELoC, and I paid it back out of the money from the accounts/life insurance/estate sale. Add to that issue the finding my brother got money for Christmas [the year mom died], and I got nothing but debt from a trip back to NE because Dad said he'd like to see us for the holiday. It's hurtful beyond belief. I spent a couple years listening to my mom telling me they were broke, and I would send them gift cards for restaurants. I knew she liked to eat out, and I wanted her to be abl...